My Teaching / Guiding Codex
Every proper business has a codex of ethical conduct and transformational guidance or teaching should be at the forefront of making such a statement. Many people are uncomfortable with the possibility that a guru or healer might “mess with their head” – and rightly so, they could. Here are my principles and ethical standards by which I work. I hope they will help us get on the same wavelength.
# 1 Open-Mindedness: No Dogma, No Doctrine
Your way is not the only way, my way is not the only way either
I count myself among free thinkers and any form of dogma makes me uncomfortable, whether it’s a strict religious doctrine or a political agenda. My goal is merely to present concepts, ideas
I have respect for traditions and religions (actually, some of my close friends and clients are religious scholars), but I always vouch for remaining open-minded. If you grew up in a strictly dogmatic system, I will likely challenge you on any notion that your way is the only way or that other people’s views or cultures are less-than. All else can be food for a productive and interesting discussion, dogma isn’t.
That said, my teaching is full of practical tasks. No, I won’t make you chant a mantra a thousand times. But, in many cases, if you don’t do the footwork, you can’t even fathom the benefits, much less gain them. It’s an experiential form of learning, so intellectual discussions, particularly about emotional or spiritual matters are usually pointless. It’s not a requirement or a doctrine, so try it, then we talk. If you don’t, there’s not much to discuss.
#2 Essence: Common Denominators & Common Ground
Looking beyond words and focusing on shared truths and principles
Words are an inadequate tool for discussing psychological or spiritual subjects but we’re stuck with them. I always look for the meaning behind the words, for the essence, common ground and common denominators. This approach enables me to collaborate with and teach people from different cultural and religious backgrounds. My own team is multinational.
I use lots of images, diagrams and metaphors to move beyond the issue at hand and to show ideas through practical examples. If you get too hung up on words, I’m likely to dismiss semantics and go for the core. We are all talking about the same things, but have a difficulty expressing them – naturally so. It takes willingness, effort and a bit of training to listen to meanings rather than words. This is one of the skills I teach by default.
One of my favorite universal laws can be summed up as “that which we pay attention to grows.” In my work, I pay close attention and emphasize what connect us, rather than what divide us. I look for the essence of humanity beyond cultures, religions or politics.
#3 Tolerance: Diversity and Equality
Accepting diversity as a positive force is a basic condition of all personal development – enjoy differences and be unique
All my teachings foster and promote inclusiveness and personal freedoms. Improving the conditions and opportunities of minorities or disadvantaged people is not only my general philosophy,
My extensive travels as well as decades helping disabled people taught me that people indeed are the same on the inside and that they all deserve a chance. Be prepared that my antenna for bigotry and hypocrisy is set on very high and that intolerance is the only thing I don’t tolerate 🙂
#4 Free Will: You Don’t Have to Do Anything
I always ultimately respect people’s free will. Personal and spiritual development takes time. You are on your path, exactly where you need to be
It’s OK if you don’t feel ready for some part of the journey, it’s OK if you don’t feel strong enough for some task. I will try to encourage you and motivate you, but, in all cases, I respect your personal freedom and choice. You don’t have to do anything.
You have every right to not participate, but that doesn’t give you the right to undermine the process and motivation of other people. You may be asked to leave the room or assist in an activity rather than participating. Quite logically – your freedom ends where someone else’s freedom begins.
#5 Truth: Challenging Your Beliefs & Saying It Like It Is
My job is to see and reveal the truth, the core of things. You choose whether to take it or leave it, but you should we willing to hear it.
A belief is any thought that you hold to be true. If you tell yourself “I’m stupid,” it’s your belief, you actually think you are. My job as a guide is to challenge any beliefs that hold you back from your development. If you need gentle questioning that will allow you to find these things out on your own, in your own sweet time, then you need therapy, not transformational development.
In my business, we roll up our sleeves and say it like it is, even if it hurts. People who come to me are willing to go through the temporary discomfort of having to change their world-view or self-perception, in order to quickly gain the benefits. I carry the lightsaber that cuts through all the nonsense we tell ourselves. It’s also capable of dismantling overblown egos, which may cause friction in a team. It’s OK, someone finally said it out loud. I’m not heartless, I do it because it moves you forward.
I’m fine if you blow up, cry or hate me for it when it happens. Those are all natural responses. I’ve had people walk out on me, only to come back years later and thank me for being the only person who didn’t lie to them. Because this is my role, I can’t know whether some truth will hurt you or whether it’s the right time. My job is to say what I see as openly, honestly and lovingly as I can muster, your job is to process it – take it or leave it, but process it.
#6 Responsibility: No Victimhood
You are not the voice in your head. You are the one listening to that voice. You hold the reins and can decide how you think and feel.
If you are a victim of an actual crime or abuse, I would urge you to begin with more traditional forms of therapy. In my work, I assume you are ready to leave your old life and old ways behind and move on. This means you take full responsibility for your life, that you harness the power of your mind. Things are not happening “to you,” you are causing them or attracting them. Does that ring true for you?
There is no space for “poor me” in this work. Of course, I do realize that denial and self-pity are natural parts of one’s development and that the victim pattern lurks back in different situations. But leaving victimhood behind and taking control of one’s life is Stage 1 of your developmentg.
My work tends to address people in Stage 2, who already understand this and are wondering how to deal with it. I’m not wasting any time trying to convince people about something they don’t see. I don’t expect perfection, I just assume you know about the victim pattern and welcome being called on it when lurks back.
Overcoming the victim pattern takes a lot of hand-holding and it’s not my strength – I can recommend both traditional and alternative therapists and resources for Stage 1 issues. I also typically work with people who are in Stage 3, looking for ways to master their powers – this includes providing support to therapists, teachers, healers or coaches.
#7 Courage: Diving Deep and Hitting the Bottom
It’s OK if things get ugly, messy or sad. You may need to go down before going up. Lasting transformations come from the point of no return.
My skills are best used with people who are ready to dive into working on themselves or their team and are willing to face the ugly side, if necessary. To get truly transformed (in a permanent irreversible way), we need to face our inner demons. Typically, we have to work through a layer of unpleasant emotions or memories to get to the core.
My main job is to provide a structured, safe and comfortable environment and guide you through this. The process and its length are individual. In externally-triggered transformations (accidents, losses, illnesses, social and political changes), the bottom moment already happened and we’re dealing with its aftermath.
In the internally sought transformations, we may have to go very deep to gain the a-ha moment. Just nice polite talking usually isn’t enough. We best see ourselves in the mirror of real-life experiences and relationships. This, by the way, is the core reason for adventurous journeys, extreme sports, pilgrimages
There are two ways to get rid of ice – to shatter it or to slowly melt it with steady heat. Such “slow” transformations typically take the proverbial 90 days, but then they are permanent.
#8 Mastery: Knowing, Not Believing
I’m not in the business of blind faith and seldom actually use the word “believe.” When you apply universal principles in practice, you don’t need to “believe,” you know. You realize, that you are a spirit that has a body, not a body that has a spirit. It’s that simple.
To me, “being spiritual” simply means “being aware of your Spirit/Soul and listening to it.” First of all, you have a spiritual dimension, whether you choose to use it or not. But many people struggle to understand what does this really mean and what it feels like. “How do I know it’s my spirit talking, not my ego?” they ask.
If I really simplify it, the realm and domains of your Spirit include issues such as awareness, self-awareness, focus, attention, intent, change, transformation, direction, purpose, observation, harmony (oneness), flow and mindfulness (meditation). These are not unknown quantities, we are all familiar with them, capable of them, but maybe don’t think about them very often.
In essence, they are all the issues one floor up from our day-to-day thinking. These are the modes in which we look down at ourselves and decide to modify our thinking and functioning (pause it, rest it, observe it, expand it, change it…). Spiritually trained and opened people simply include this dimension into their day-to-day thinking by default. They are not special, they are just more inclusive.
The more conversant you become in these issues, the more at home you feel in your spiritual side, the less susceptible you become to falling into the traps of blind faith, merely following others. You don’t need to read ancient books about mystical experiences, you can enjoy them yourself. You also learn to see concepts as concepts – archetypes, parables, metaphors, symbols. The more frequently you experience the essence that brought them to life, the less you need to talk about it and fight over semantics – you know, you’ve done it.
Therefore, faith and “believing” in the sense of believing a concept that’s inherently foreign to you (such as immaculate conception) is no longer necessary. You have your own guidance that’s just as good as the guidance of our ancestors, you see the signs, you trust
#9 Authenticity: Living What I Preach, albeit Imperfectly
Everything I teach is utterly practical, time-tested and physical. There’s nothing airy-fairy about transformation or personal development, they affect our daily lives. I live it, it works, but I’m still not done with me yet and far from perfect.
I can’t honestly say that I’m only teaching what I experienced, because that’s technically impossible. But I do live what I preach and I do only preach the things that meet the criteria outlined in this codex. In other words, I have carefully sifted out anything that smells of dogma, intolerance, inequality, dishonesty, blind faith, etc.
My life isn’t necessarily exemplary and I’m not perfect. That doesn’t mean I don’t know what the rules of the road are or that I wouldn’t be able to teach them. It just means that I’m not done with me yet. There are many flaws and imperfections to be ironed out. The benefit of having extensive experience with transformations is that I’m familiar with the process and no longer afraid of it.
An issue or drama that would normally dismantle people’s lives for weeks or months can be processed within hours or days. You still have to go through it, but it doesn’t sweep you off your feet. That’s the real goal of all these efforts – making things faster, easier and conscious.
Unlike many spiritual teachers, my path wasn’t “I was lost, now I’m found and I share the experience/message with others.” I formed my philosophy early, still in my teens, and then spent over two decades living it and testing it in practice. Surprisingly, it held up and became the core of my teachings, virtually unchanged since the early
Because my own story isn’t integral to the message, I usually refrain from setting myself as an example or basing my teachings solely on my own experience – which is, by default, biased. Yet, all the tools and teachings I developed are experiential (can only be understood if lived). They are based on collective experience – myself, my teachers, team members, friends (many of them healers, coaches, therapists, spiritual teachers), creative people, my clients
If I choose to tell a personal story or write some reflections of my own life, it’s because I want to share the process and emotions that you might experience as well, so that you to know that you are not alone. The theory behind it is solid and although it’s easy to illustrate through stories, those stories didn’t form it, they merely confirmed it or enhanced it. I don’t want you to be “like me.” You have your own story, you are supposed to be uniquely you.
#10 Proactivity: Roll-Up Your Sleeves and Do the Work
You do the footwork. Roll up your sleeves and go dig in the basement and attic of your soul. I can’t go there for you, I can only hold the torch.
If there is one contraindication to personal development, it’s the unwillingness to “do the work.” When I come to deliver a presentation and see people sitting there with their arms folded and a smirk saying ‘Well, lady, show me what you have!’ I call them on it.
It’s not about what I have, it’s about what they have! I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Your journey, your job. Do you want a guide with a torch or do you want to stumble in the darkness alone? It’s fine with me either way.
This is important to understand, because in our current world, the narrative suggesting that “you get nothing for free, you must work hard for it,” directly clashes with the narrative saying “I paid for this, now deliver.” This is a strange case in which you pay for something but it’s still you who needs to deliver.
My job is to make the process as painless and efficient as possible, but I can’t guarantee that it will be painless or efficient, because it still depends on you. Motivational speaking doesn’t help with making you want to change, it can show you the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s still you who has to go into the tunnel.
#11 Privacy: Holding Space & Confidentiality
My job is to “create a space for miracles.” This space (mental, emotional and physical) must be safe and conducive to change.
As in all personal development and healing professions – whatever is said during our consulting or training is confidential, unless we specifically agree otherwise (such as during a video shooting or a public lecture). The stories I share publicly are stripped off any personal data and usually an amalgam of multiple people with similar experiences.
The expression “creating a space for miracles” refers to two completely different things. One is the space I can create as a facilitator or teacher – from a friendly private environment where no one will disturb us, to
The second space is the one you allow within – your willingness to listen, to share, to give yourself the necessary time to absorb changes, etc. For many people, this means changing their lifestyle to a degree, introducing some down-time or time alone. Again, this could be both mental and physical space. It could also mean forming a supportive community around you and dropping the crazymakers who take up your time and/or space.
#12 Safety: Knowing My Limits
Your sense of safety during a transformational process is directly related to my awareness of my limits and ability to reach out for help where my own skills end.
I do work that might have therapeutic effects if the stars align right, but it’s not therapy. If you need therapy, I will tell you. It’s that simple. The good news is that I can suggest a therapeutic approach that is likely to suit you, from traditional to alternative, from gentle to hard-core and hands-on. By therapy, I also mean healing processes for business teams, such as coaching or specific
I’m not a trained therapist and you need to know that. We had many discussions with my counterparts regarding the strange border between spiritual development, personal development, business coaching and therapy. So much of it is ultimately about personal style of work.
Some coaches are touch, some coaches are encouraging… and it works depending on whether you need sugar or whip, as we call it in Czech. I just need you to know that I’m willing and happy to send clients to another specialist because if we’re not the right match, we are both wasting our time and talents. Being a “guidepost” to other therapists or specialist is one of my integral roles.
#13 Purity: Maintaining My Own Connection & Energy Level
The success of my work depends upon my clarity – my ability to remain focused, unbiased, accurately formulate my message and listen to my intuition. It’s my job to reflect the truth and to do that, I must keep the mirror clean.
Many professions require serious mental hygiene, other professionals must keep their body in shape. But while an accountant can successfully perform their work while grumpy, no such thing is possible for a transformation guide. I’m bringing my health, expertise, mood, as well as intuition to the table.
In practice, this means that I don’t drink alcohol (never have) or do drugs. Well, minus coffee, that is 🙂 I must eat relatively healthy, maintain my level of energy through walks or exercise. I take the time to meditate, reflect, write my journal, get feedback from my guides, expand my horizons through learning, travel or meeting interesting people. Another necessity is to maintain
The absence of any one of these things is enough to affect my ability to perform as a guide, as well as a creative professional. I’m responsible for being able to tune into people. I’m responsible for having fun creative ideas and accurate insights. Yes, it’s a role I step into while shutting my personal life away, but only to a degree.
The ability to do this repeatedly and long-term depends on all the things I do away from my work. I know many healers, therapists
I don’t intend to be one of them. To me, my personal life, creative career
It might require extra time when I’m traveling or time away from people. If I feel that my personal life would compromise my performance, I choose to cancel a session rather than come in unprepared, unfocused or biased. That said, my work also endowed me with surprisingly good stress-management skills, so it rarely happens. 🙂
#14 Joy: Remember – It’s a Dance, It’s a Comedy
We engage in a dance with the Universe (Consciousness/God/Nature/Force…). To dance, you must become a partner, not a follower. My style of work is far from serious. It’s essence is about joy, fun, beauty and a sense of humor.
I can’t stress the power of Joy enough. I’m not just talking about Joy as a “high,” as a feeling of jumping and screaming. Joy can be soft and playful like a puppy. Joy can be pleasant and smooth like melted chocolate. Joy is laughing with your friends, or just watching
Some traditional spiritual teachings present a concept of a judgmental God we should not just respect, but fear. With all due respect, this makes no sense to me. First, if God is an omnipresent force, then it’s already a part of your every atom, hence you are not separate. Second, if God is forgiving and represents unconditional love, then it’s unconditional and not judgmental.
This notion significantly changes the minute you think of the interaction with the Universe (
The only scary part is our complex and extensive mechanism for avoiding this dance. We’ll do anything to not show up in the ballroom, anything to keep the Universe off our dance card. We’re happy to dance to the tunes of anyone and anything we know (bosses, parents, media, money, fame, external success), as long as it’s not the great unknown. The only problem is – the Universe is the only one who really knows the steps.
If the Universal Force was a serious one, all snowflakes would be the same and birds would not sing melodious tunes. It is absolutely evident, that the quality of this Great Force is inquisitive, bursting and joyous. The answer is not in ancient wise books, it’s in having fun and appreciating all the gifts we were given.
This may sound radical, but if you want to connect to your Soul, Spirit, Inner Self, Universe, God, Universal Consciousness… go dance, go jump, have sex, get a massage, play with a child, walk through a garden… go experience Life, that’s what the Force wants you to do, and, as far as I can tell, the only thing it wants you to do. Spirituality is 3D and it’s fun.
#15 Readiness: Get It At Your Own Sweet Time
Although it’s my job to motivate you to overcome your fears, laziness or false beliefs, it may simply not be the right time for you to “get it” or want to change. It’s up to you whether you sense it’s the right time.
One of the fundamental spiritual rules is that a teacher appears when a student is ready. This typically translates into the more practical “a lesson appears when the student is ready” because rather then teachers, life provides us with ample practical lessons. But in general, this rule implies that if you came this far, you probably are ready for what I can offer, simply because we resonate enough for you to be interested.
One of the more practical examples of this is the diet and exercise industry, which is completely off, assuming that by offering a particular program, diet or combination of exercises, people will be able to lose weight. People lose weight only once they are truly ready to get rid of the underlying cause of why they got fat to begin with (fear, self-protection, self-esteem).
Once they get to this point – any program is good enough. What you learned as a kid in a gym class is good enough. All the free online programs are good enough. They were there all along – readiness wasn’t. We are blind to it. The same is true for broken relationships, failing careers, unfulfilled dreams or feeling like we live in the wrong city. It’s up to you when you take any one of these issues, put it on the front burner and become willing to take the bull by the horns.
As a transformation guide, I understand that there will be issues where you will display this form of blindness to it. It’s my role to call you on it, but it’s not my intention to push you into solving them. If you say “Not now,” I completely understand. If such
#16 Excellence: May the Students Surpass Their Teacher
I’m not perfect, but I do strive for excellence. My goal as a guide is to light the sparks in others, help them on their path, but ultimately let them surpass me and exceed my own skills.
In traditional forms of education, many teachers build their authority as a form of power play. There is no space for the student to be smarter than the teacher and much friction occurs when it happens. In my work, this is expected. It’s normal to outgrow a teacher. We learn what we need and move on.
The reins are fully in the hands of the student. We pick our teachers, books
But it’s also the nature of the business that they will be called to do something else with equal impulse and strength – and that’s fine. That’s what it’s supposed to be. It’s not unusual that we come to a teacher for a single life-changing message. They utter a sentence, maybe not even the very core of their teachings, and an a-ha moment happens. At that point, the student got what they needed and move on.
Such a-ha moment may also come from pop songs, films, random conversations with strangers or inquisitive questions of a little child. This is why we say that anyone can be your teacher. That’s a part of the dance with the Universe. My job is generally to assist people in learning to trust their own guidance, their own intuition and thus be able to recognize such signs and hear the right messages. My sign of excellence is when students leave, not if they need me endlessly.
Good teachers hope to have a couple of students in their career that will become stars in their field and credit their teacher with the initial spark. I expect all my student to become stars in their own right. My job is to bring the best out of my clients, to identify their unique gifts, to develop their creativity. As they step into their power, they need me less and less, because they have their own source and intuition. They excel in their respective fields, not in doing what I do. I expect my students to surpass me. I hope you do too.